A Picture Says A Thousand Words

The Milk Bottle Depression of 2009

2009-08-06T01:00:00.004+01:00

We were all there that day, the day which started just like any other…you know, wake up, eat, brush & wash, well my day anyhoo! I hopped on the train in good ole kangaroo fashion en route to May’s house. But first…the first of many traditional adventures to the legendary Sainsbury’s aboard the 25-best bus route evers! So we get off the bus, but not just “get off”, we get off and everyone turns to stare and we hear murmurs of “wow, wish we were them”, “check out that style”, “they are so buff”. (A girl can dream). And then we did the whole slow mo, air blowing, photographers flashing, lights glistening walk along the pavement and through the doors to where the real adventure begins. We move through the items on the shopping list at an unthinkable pace, purely because most of it isn’t even on the list. All is well…until…we get to…..THE MILK!

Now, both of us being relatively spoilt in terms of foodie, picture and YouTube HQ goodness, only want the best milk out there. So it was all about the Cravendale, because “it’s not just any milk, its filtered”. This was when the travesty was discovered. We had upon our hands the first expose of many-The milk bottle depression. This was where it all started, the first signs were apparent from here, from now. All the Cravendales had their heads down and lowered as it hiding in shame or due to lack of self-esteem. It must’ve been the self-esteem; there ain’t no shame in being filtered. The own brand milks were the culprit, bullying and teasing the Cravendales out of sheer jealousy. The travesty! We managed to save one of them from further damage, but the damage had already been done. On trips back to Sainsbury’s we kept finding the same devastating findings, the depressed Cravendales with low self-esteem and moral worth, until recently.

Exhibit A:

Quote from an eyewitness (Identity withheld, for safety): "OMG JOEY STAR THEY'RE ALL LIKE THAT IN SAINS NOW!All of them. It's so sad when I have to get them. Makes me want to give them therapy. Don't be sad milk, boost ur esteem."

Not long ago a movement was passed in Sainsbury’s that all bullying no brand milks would be transferred to packet packaging and lose their right to be bottled; we’ve all seen it happen. They weren’t bluffing. Since then the Cravendales have been safe, and now stand with their heads held high.

To A Legend

2009-07-20T20:14:00.006+01:00

Michael Jackson.

A household name. Transcended time, wealth and race. Everybody knew who he was. From the big city man in his office, to the modest farmer in his shack.

Everybody.

It was his music I grew up with. It was his movies and pseudo-documentaries I watched as a child. It was him who took the role as my first childhood crush.

Considering the fact that I didn't really listen to much music as a child that says a lot. I remember sitting in the living room and watching Moonwalker with my cousins. Trying desperately to imitate his anti-gravity lean, oblivious to the fact that without a harness and those special patented shoes it's virtually impossible.

On 25th June, I was at my cousins house talking about something. What was it I don’t remember. But this is what I do remember. I was in her kitchen when our great-aunt called us, to inform us that there were reports about Michael Jackson passing away.

Boy was I surprised. I was just listening to the radio that morning and Kiss FM were giving away tickets to his upcoming London shows.

But more surprisingly, I found that I was upset by the news of his death.

I'm not going to lie and make out as though I was his biggest fan. Because I wasn't. As a matter of a fact, I must admit that up until his death a few weeks ago I paid him and his affairs almost no attention for five years. But I knew then and still do now, that he was one of a kind. Regardless of whatever he was accused of; from the molestation charges, to the allegations that he bleached his skin, we cannot deny that he revolutionised the face of music.

And his revolution wasn't just for the benefit of black people as many journalists have been claiming. But for everyone. He was the first to use music videos as a form of storytelling, a a type of art if you will. Prior to him music videos were solely a way of promoting your album. There wasn't much thought about the concept, or the style of the video. You just got the artist, put them in a room, played the music and wham bam thank you ma'am.

It was him who was one of the first to use complex choreographed moves in his tours, performances and videos.

It was him who inspired many of the artists we see on our television screens today.

And it is for these accomplishments I hope he shall be remembered for. Not the latter part of his life, which was tarnished by rumours and allegations.

He paved the way for artists, black AND white, to try something new. That they should aspire to be more than just successful artists but endeavour to be successful individuals in every aspect of their lives. As it stands, Michael holds the world record for most number of charities supported. He's donated a large amount of his wealth and time to helping those less fortunate.

But it is this kind hearted nature I feel that has been both his blessing and his curse. As I mentioned, he revolutionised and redefined what it meant to be an entertainer. It wasn't just about what his fans could do for him but rather what he could do for his fans, for the world.

I'm not going to get too deep into the whole 'is he guilty' argument but I will say that whenever an individual is perceived to be emotionally susceptible (as I fear Jackson might have been) there will always be those who are cruel enough to take advantage of that. He missed out on his childhood and stated he wanted to try and prevent impoverished and ill children from missing out on theirs. Yes, he may have acted in unconventional ways, but I would like to remind others that he has been found not guilty on ALL counts. So let us stop treating him like a criminal and focusing on the darker parts of his life. Because let's face it. I wasn't there and you weren't there. And what happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'? He's been found to be innocent, there was no evidence to link him to the crime. So let's leave that be.

As for his children, Paris, Prince I and Prince II, the home movies that are surfacing depict Michael as a caring, protective and doting father and my heart mourns for their loss of a father. If you think the fans have it bad remember these children lost the only parental figure in their lives. I doubt they want to be reading about the rumours and gossip surrounding their father at a time like this.

I'm not really a crier and I didn't cry when I heard about Michael's death but the image of Paris at her father's memorial, sobbing, as she talked about 'the best daddy' brought a tear to my eye. You can really see how much their father meant to them. And its sad to know that he won't be around to protect them from the media scrutiny Jackson's parents and family members have so carelessy thrust them into. I really do hope, that whoever ends up as their caregiver, is able to be half the parent to them as MJ was.

I wish I could talk about all his accomplishments but there's just so much to say and I don't think my words would do them justice. I just wanted to make a small tribute/post acknowledging his undeniable talent and his untimely passing.

But what I can mention are my own memories. Whenever I'm asked about my favourite MJ song, I'm unable to decide. That's how much I like his songs. Ask me my favourite Big Bang song and I'll easily tell you 'Wrong number'. MJ on the other hand, I'm stumped. I can't pick between them. I love Billie Jean for it's catchy line 'she's just a girl who claims that I'm the one'. Adore Beat it for the awesome video,love 'Wanna be starting something' for the loltastic epic lyrics and admire black and white for the message it carries.

Many have tried to imitate his style, his voice, his powerful moves but none have to this day succeeded and I honestly feel that none will. The vocal 'hiccup, the 'crotch grab',the moonwalk and military style jackets were all part of the persona that has come to be identified as part of MJ's trademark.

Michael was one of a kind, a true entertainer. Not this pseudo-entertainer-manufactured malarky I see so often occupying the music channels.

Michael Jackson said, "Through, my music I know I will live forever"

And I know for sure, that my grandchildren's children, will know of and admire the musical juggernaut that went by the name of Michael Jackson.

R.I.P

1958~2009

When you were born,
You cried and the world rejoiced
You lived your life so that when you died
The world cried and you rejoiced.

Banner made by Joeystar. Told you she was good.

We Made It!

2009-07-19T20:29:00.003+01:00

Don't be late.Don't be late.Don't be late.

I fell asleep repeating that sentence to myself. Why? Because I have this terrible problem where I physically cannot be on time for any appointment,meeting,or anything involving my presence at a particular time. I'm trying to get it recongised as a real problem. I've even got a name ready- lateitis. Not quite original or creative but hey! I'm not the creative one. Which reminds me. I'm getting off track.

So yeah, what do I need to be on time for? MY REUNION DATE WITH JOEYSTAR! Due to the nightmare that is formally known as 'exams' I haven't had a chance to catch up with her (msn excluded). We had planned on meeting around 1 (with some leeway for my lateness) near my house and just doing random stuff. And then retreating back to mine for more random stuff. Cause you know, we are random personified and all that jazz.

The day started out on time. I woke up the first time my alarm went off. Mini miracle! Then time-keeping went downhill after that. I don't know how. I have this other habit (which I think may be the cause of my lateitis) where I tend to waste time doing nothing i.e staring at the wall, looking out of the window. Because one second it was 11.30, next 12.59.

Grab bag,check outfit one more time,check oystercard,leave house,run to bus stop.

Shoot! Forgot phone. Run back,get phone. Run to bus stop.Again.

Now I have to wait for the bus driver to actually drive. Why is it that bus drivers tend to drive so SLOW when you're running late? Like, honestly when I don't have to be anywhere at a specfic time I always get there much earlier than normal. Maybe I'm imagining it? Anyway back to the story.

The bus finally moves off and I arrive at our designated meeting spot. I come just in time to see Joey being talked to *cough*creeped out*cough* by this mature gentleman. She has the international signal of distress on her face; a polite, yet please-get-me-out-of-here smile. Being a female I'm able to recognise the signal and automatically make my way to rescue her.

(un)Fortunately, Joey sees me before I can get to her and excuses herself from the clutches of the gentleman. Which is great but totally ruined the possiblilty of a dramatic rescue. But never mind! Cause Joeystar and Maybelle are reunited..and it feels so gooood!! After browsing the stores and indulging in the occasional spongebob one liner we decide to get something to eat. Tofu Yakisoba for me and sandwich for Joey. Yummers!

Whilst in the queue for my yakisoba I remember that Joey's never tried sushi before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sushi's biggest fan (I'm slightly suspicious of any type of raw fish) but it's all about trying something new. So we decide to get some sushi too, Oh and wasabi peas, For anybody who hasn't tried wasabi peas I implore you to try it ASAP! It does what it says on the tin. Wasabi flavoured dried peas. Feel the burn babybeh! Armed with our purchases and food we head on over to this really nice,man-made garden to have a picnic. It's kind of like a roof-area, with grass. Only its not a roof. And it's not entirely grassified..(Is that even a word)

Yeah..

I'm not good with descriptions. Anyhows..

Food. Check.
Shopping. Check.
Spongebob one liners. Check
Place to eat? Check

You know what else irritates me? British weather. The whole week it had been nice and sunny, heck even heatwaveish. The one day we decide to brave the heatwave it decides to rain. Where was this rain when I was melting last week? Abandoning our hope of a picnic we head downstairs desperately seeking man-made shelter.

JOEY TRIED NIGIRI SUSHI!!! I was so proud! I even took a photo to document the moment. One second you're making their baby formula and the next they're eating nigiri sushi... They grow up so fast.By now 2 weeks worth of rain is falling at a continuous rate and shows no sign of slowing down. We agree that we should admit defeat and retreat back to a more sheltered environment (i.e. my house). The driver lets us off at our stop, throwing us to the mercy of the rain, with little more than a rain coat and a hijab. You know what time is people. Mission Rainpossible.

*Cue Mission Imposisble theme song*

Mysterious voice:Ladies. It's raining cats and dogs. Your mission? Escape unscathed. Oh and agents.Be warned, better agents than you have tried...and failed.
Yeaaaaaaaah...

You should have seen it. Running from one tree to another. Hiding in every nook and cranny. What should have been at the very most a 2 minute walk turned into what could very well be a dramatic outtake from a Harry Potter scene. Rain,wind, EVERYTHING!

But the rain couldn't dampen our spirits. Despite having met up rather early (by my standards at least) the day was over before you could say 'bikini bottom' (which fyi is where spongebob resides). I walk Joey back to the bus top,sad that our day is over but laughing about all the jokes and random things we saw and did.

After bidding Joey adieu I realise that instead of walking around 10 mins to the bus stop we could have just gone to the one opposite my house. D'oh.

Victorian Wasabi!

2009-07-19T14:57:00.002+01:00

3 outfit changes, 2 makeup removals later and I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready. Hahah! Spongebob on the way to work at the Krusty Krab! Oooh did you see the episode when…No! Concentrate! Right…the outfit changes I blame on the weather not being able to make up its mind, and the make up removals I blame on lack of concentration, as seen earlier. I can’t be blamed, my mind wanders off on its own and there nothing I can do about it. It’s like a helium balloon let go of by a little kid with no parents.

Anyhoo, back to what I was talking about…uhm..ah! So I’m dressed and got on an average bit of make up, now all I need is my bag and off we can go! I feel like I’m forgetting something….*think think* MAY’S BIRTHDAY CARD!! THAT’S LIKE THE WHOLE REASON I’M GOING! Just got to run up to get it! OK! Now I’m ready! I’m ready, I’m ready. STOP IT!

God! This hill seems so much longer today than it did last month. Stupid ticket machine :F Oh! Wait! There’s the lady. TRAIN! Wait!! COME BACK!!! Dayum, I’m going to be late now! :F

I like being on the train by myself, just me and my music and…oh…this…person…sitting next to me. Wait! What are you doing MAN, why are you sitting next to me!? You’re ruining my MOJO!! Yeah, I do have a mojo, it might not be cool, but it still exists. Now I’m on the tube. I just magicked there you know. Argh! The tube’s there already! Run slash walk, I will not miss another bit of transport! Phew! Made it! Mister…stop looking at me in the reflection. I can see you! Now I have to avoid eye contact, changing ipod setting, scrummaging in bag, nail inspection. I’m getting bored. STOP LOOKING AT ME!! I CAN FEEL THE STARE!!!

And not just that..I’m waiting in the train station and there’s a guy who is blates Jack from Will & Grace but older, and I can see him looking at me and walking past pretending he isn’t looking at me, but I just know he is! Anyhoo, eventually he starts talking to me, turns out he doesn’t want to kidnap me, he just needed some help! MAY’S HERE! “Sorry Jack, I have to go, my friend is here. I hope you find your friends, or they find you! BYE!”

Yummy sushi is being eaten, and wasabi peas and now it’s raining! Stupid rain! You had the whole of last week to be here and you come now! To May’s house! Aww, what cute baby photos :D and a bit of Michael Jackson, things can’t get better than this!

Mr G- Dragon, come on down!!

2009-06-09T23:27:00.023+01:00

Wow..Joeystar set the standard quite high. All eloquent and whatnot. I’m almost going to feel bad about the jibberish that I’m about to write.

Almost.

But alas, a beggar will always be a beggar and May will always not make sense. Where did I get that “beggar will always be a beggar” from. I think I just made that up. The mind works in mysterious ways, mine moreso.

Alrighties back on track. Big Bang. Or as they refer to themselves “BIG BENG”. My korean friends' tell me this is due to the fact ‘bang’ means room (in korean), which I assume they wish to distance themselves from as it doesnt have the same effect. Big Bang, Big Room. I take the former. Their name (according to their label) is to denote the big effect and revolution they hope to create in the korean idol world. After all the Big bang gave birth to the world (according to some) and Big Beng gave birth to something equally awesome. A reincartion of boybands. Prior to big beng I mean bang they were all pretty and feminine looking..like really feminine,like ohmygod is it a female kinda feminine, like andrognous looking, like..okay I think you get it.
But then came them. All hip-hoppy and r’n’b and cool. All with the exception of one.

Mr G-Dragon. Mr Kwon Ji Yong. Mr Ecclectic. Mr Obi Kwonobi. Mr I-have-to-be-different-yet-I-can’t-distinguish-between-different cool-and-different odd. Mr I-get-it-so-horribly-wrong-90%-frikking-amazing-10%-of-the-time.

Don’t get me wrong. He’s the composer of the band and occasionally the writer but that will only get you so far on cool points. Why is he not cool I here you ask? Two words, a thousand implications.

The Hair.

I had to capitalise the word hair because its that serious. It’s no longer an improper noun, but instead an adjective. For example, consider this conversation I had with a friend a few days ago;
Me- I’m glad exams are over. I feel like I’ve been slipping with Big Bang. I’ve missed out on so many updates. Heck I even missed out on GeeDee’s trip to London.
Friend A- But you don’t even like G-dragon. Wasn’t TOP your favourite?
Me- It’s not that I don’t like him. It’s that I don’t understand him. And FYI me and Tabi are on first name basis now. That’s right. First name.
Friend A- Tabi?
Me- Yes, it’s a nickname, lovingly given to him.
Friend B- You are aware tabi sounds like tubby right? Isn’t that harsh considering he used to ACTUALLY be tubby?
Me- You shush, why are you involving yourself, tabi has reclaimed the word tubby, because hes special. It’s like the word gay. Originally used against the homosexuals,they reclaimed it sometime ago and now its a positive word. Huzzah tabi!
Friend A- And you say you don’t understand G-dragon? You should techincally speaking be best of friends.
Me- I don’t like that tone. Or that implication. Or that facial expression.Cease!
Friend B-O...kaaay. So which one was G-dragon?
Me- The leader?
Friend B- The ginger haired one?
Me- No..that’s Dae Sung
Friend B- The short one?
Me- No he would be Tae Yang. And he’s not short. They’re just really tall its not his fault they paired him with really tall bandmates.
Friend B- Whatever helps him sleep at night. So which one is he?
Friend A- The one with the uhm hair.
Friend B- OHHHHH the skinny one. Why didn’t you just say that? Yeah whats up with his hair anyways?
And thats how I realised that the word hair alone became an adjective when used in conjuction with G-dragon. The sad thing is that the hair wasn’t always like this. I feel that he’s recieved encouragement from his bandmates. Taking comfort in the fact his hair looks so damn bad.Poor misguided guy.

When Big Bang first debuted he actually had very nice hair. It was all short and spiky and suited him. But then the curse of the hairstylist befell him. The hairstylist curse is one that plagues many many MANY artists. Let us not forget the mullet of the 1980s (business in the front,party of the back! ), we all thought it was the result of poor judgement (and perhaps alcohol and shearers) but its only just surfacing that it was the hair stylist curse. The curse is believed to affect artists in their prime and is often the first step towards the hairowing demise (haha hairowing, sometimes I even amaze myself). Billy Ray Cyrus...coincidence that after the mullet he "settles down" and disappears from the music world, nah it wasnt his achy-breaky heart but rather "A bad hairstyle with his name on it".That's only going to be funny if you're aware that Mr Cyrus has a song called 'A heart with your name on it', don't ask how or why I know this, just know that I'm deleting it from my memory bank as I type.

Back to the curse. I have good reason to believe that our beloved Kwon Leadah has fallen prey to the curse. There is someone on his stylist team with a lock of his hair performing voodoo magic right now. That's the only reasonable explanation. No sane person would actually CHOOSE to look that bad. Unless..no no its the curse. Definiately the curse.

Cue the photo montage!!

[ Caption- I'm looking for my manhood. Have you seen her??]

Lets start with the recent 'samurai-inspired' train wreckage. I don't know what looks worse. When its up or when its down. It just looks terrible. And shame on Tabi and the others. How could they allow him to leave looking like that?How could ANYONE let him leave with that...that..shagpile on his head? Oh sweet niblets, he looks like a she here. And when its down he looks like a hobo. At what point did he think this was cool, its not like haircut where its done all at once, the hair had to have grown to reach that length. Did it not occur to him that 'hey, you know what, the people that might have sported this look all died after the Edo period. Maybe it was the result of sexual selection. Maybe nature killed of the hair for a reason'. No? Am I expecting too much? Does the expression 'cut my hair bad once shame on you, cut it bad twice frikkin shame on me' hold no weight with him? I know I just made up that expresison now but he keeps falling for it again and again and again and again. I think someone at YG needs to fired liiiiiike now. Before they get to the other members. They should all hang their head in shame.

[T.O.P: !Looks like theres spiders on your hair.Wait.wait.Oh snap! The hair curse got you again dude Quick look at him walking away, GD: Mo%^&*$^&%£er I posed for pictures looking like this]

Moving on to the hite commerical hair-do. Okay first of all..what the heck is that? You know what it reminds me of? My aunt. She used to tie her hair like that before she went to sleep to keep it all nice and "bouncy" (her words not mine). But she NEVER wore it during the day for the simple reason it looks terrible. Seriously what is that. Does this have a name? And the thing that makes me want to cry and giggle is that he seems so proud of himself in that cf. If my hair looked THAT bad I wouldn't be that happy. I want to meet the person who actually lists this as a cool hairstyle, that actually CHARGES people to look like that. Because I want to shake their hand, and perhaps get some money-making tips from them.

[ Jada Pinkett, eat your heart out. I'm a better Niobe than you could ever be]

Remember how I said the stylists needs to be fired before he/she wreaks havoc on the other members hair? Too late. My beloved tabi fell victim to the Aunty-beddy-time-hair. And it was LIVE. On Japanese television. People get disowned for this kind of hairstyle. But when its GD you just learn to expect it. I bet that when he comes home looking like this nobody even bats an eyelid. So that would explain why the hairstyles keep getting more and more shocking everytime. Hang your head in shame again.

[Don't look at my hair. Look at the phone. It lights up. Oooh shiny distractions]

Lolli-lolli-lollipop, boy neon naui lollipop. I guess when they envisioned lollipop as the concept they really went overboard. Just like a lollipop the clothing is bright, sickly and gives you toothache. The crimped hair? I don't know who's hair crimper he stole but he needs to destroy it. Nobody, and i mean nobody should crimp their hair. Especially not somene with a reputation like his. And I cannot help but mention the clothing. WHO LET HIM NEAR THE PINK JUMPSUIT?And the ringmaster hat begs the question who is sourcing YG with these hideous outfits?Look at tabi, even he can't make this ish look good. I bet he's questioning himself,he used to be an underground rapper you know. Rappers don't sing songs about lollipops, his credentials must have surely slipped a few hundred points or so. If you've watched the MV you understand what I mean. If you haven't don't. I wouldn't inflict that on anyone else. Ringmaster hats,jumpsuits GINGER CRIMPED HAIR. Oh sweet lord, we've entered a parallell universe where crimped hair is cool. I want out.

[Caption- Wait a minute guys, somethings not quite right....]

The permed hair is a variation of the crimped hair. I wish I could say it was a better variation but hey its Geedee. I love this photo, he looks so pleased with himself and Tae Yang and Seungri are just like 'what the f*ck, is he serious'. Yes, he is unfortunately. Looks like a cross between one of the hairs from Jonas Brothers and Navid from 90210. What an ugly result. Permed hair is so not happening. Please people, if you're considering a perm, slap your hairdresser and relocate because they don't have your best interests at heart. Ji Yong, ya what the hell man, I don't even know what to say. This picture speaks a thousand words.

[ Where's that hairstylist. Imma knock him out with my book.And then eat him]

OH MY FRIEND OH MY HAIR. Look what they did. To my once beautiful hair. You know, that actually goes with the song. Go me! I quite like the side/half mohawk thing he had going on during this time. Yes it took a while to grow on me, but I feel it reflected him perfectly. Half conventional other half..not? What I don't like, was when he gelled it down. To give it the slicked look. If you wanted the slick look geedee, you shouldn't have done a Cassie and shaved half your hair. He claims to have put alot of though into this hair, I'm not the least bit convinced.But at least this hair wasn't as bad as the:

GHEI BUN! It's like a bird's nest. Just laying there. Neither a pony tail, nor a normal short style. It's in a league of its own. Netizens call this the duck hairstyle, but I call it the ghei bun because thats exactly what it is. A ghei bun, the result of a torrid love affair with a pony tail and the buzz-cut. When I first started getting into Big Bang they had just released their song 'Gojidhmal' translated as lies and this was the hair G-dragon decided to showcase for their comback show and music video. At the time I wanted him to open the bun but now I think about it the samurai thingy is the ghei bun just open isn't it? I don't know which I dislike more, the ghei bun or the samurai girly hair.

I feel I should end this post with at least a few examples of GD hair gone good. Because its not all side mohawks and ghei buns. There is light even this darkest of tunnels. When I first started listening to Big Bang's music, the first video I ever watched was the 'we belong together' one, and I actually thought he had nice hair (kangol hats notwithstanding). But yeah, all of them had really nice hair. Oh what a sweet time that was.

But if we look back at their Hot Issue mini album photos (whats with koreans and mini albums btw??) he had really nice hair. Look at it! Spiked short hair suits him the best. I love love love loved the Sunset Glow hairstyle. Honestly during that period he was fast becoming the second fave. I was saving many many photos of his. Look at how awesomely peng he looks in the above pictures. And I don't use the word peng as an adjective so that's saying something.

I love him in these photos. He’s so adorkable. He has the hottest smirk. When it’s not being overshadowed by terrible hairstyles that is. It’s hard to appreciate the smirk when you’re confronted by such disasters such as the spider/aunty beddy-bye-bye thing. I know he’s still sporting the half/side Mohawk, whatever it’s called, but it still looks good, maybe because the hairs starting to grow back? I even like the 2nd bohemian, look at my girly headband style. It looks rather modeleque and suits him nicely if I do say so myself.

I like the fact that some of his hairstyles don’t actually have names. Methinks it’s because of the fact he DOES IT HIMSELF. I’m just saying. If I was in charge of G-Dragon’s welfare I would keep the scissors, razors, hell anything that can double as a hair instrument out of reach. I bet the second GD disappears for a long period of time in the house everyone worries, because they know what he does when he's alone. I bet that would explain the birth of the side mohawk.....

*Drifts off*

All of Big Bang minus G-dragon are watching tv when suddenly:

GD-UH OH!

Tae Yang- What happened JiYong?

GD- I had an accident.

TOP- What kinda accident

*Enters the room*

Daesung- You had a fight and the razor won?

Seungri- I TOLD YOU HE WAS GONE FOR TOO LONG!

TOP- What the heck happened?

GD-Weeellll, since everyone kept complimenting Tae on his mohican look I wanted the same compliments so decide to try and do it for myself. Did you know that when the razor is turned on it suddenly becomes very shaky?

Tae Yang- THATS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRY TO SHAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE.WHEN WILL YOU LEARN??!?!

GD- S'Not my fault I'm easily influenced. If you think about it it's really your fault. You shouldn't taunt me with your abs and sexy mohawk

Wait. Did he just call Tae Yang sexy?Damn even my tangents are crazy.Anyhoo who saw the special stage with Hyo Ri?

Did his hair not look FANTASTIC there? Yes he looked like the asian verison of Peewee Herman but I assure you, its the suit not the hair. Peewee should be so lucky to have hair that bodacious.

Whilst I admire his attempts to be unique one can't help but worry that he might be trying TOO hard to be different. I like the little changes he makes. Not the full blown out look-at-me-quick hair styles. When your face looks as feminine as his does, you need to be careful with the styles you attempt otherwise you just look..feminine. Exhibit A: The samurai hairstyle. Tell me he does not look like a lost member of 2ne1 (the female big bang-we'll talk about them in later posts, remember the name). I'm not bashing or hating him, as anybody who knows me will tell you I think he's really good looking, its just hard to ignore such travestys such as the crimped hair. IT WAS GINGER AND PERMED! And as a fan I feel I have the right to point out when members of my fave band are caught slipping. Geedee just slips more than others with the hair. Way more. But I still love him crimps and all. I just don't love him and the crimps in the same sentence.

So there you have it. The May breakdown on GeeDee's hair. The Good, the Bad and the downright UGLY! G-dragon, in the name of all that is holy and sacred, don't take hair tips from your current hairstylist. Just hold out until I can finish this psychology degree and I'll be there to save you from committing any more hair faux pas. Just stay away from anything sharp. And anything coloured. Just stay away from your hair in general, you're its worst enemy.

I hope I've been as coherent and eloquent as Joeystar had but I highly doubt it. After all I am the nonsensical random one. But this is a topic close to my heart, many facebook status updates have been dedicated to his random hairstyles in the past and knowing G-dragon I assume many more will be dedicated to them in the future. I have reason to believe that this hair rollercoaster that G-dragon has embaraked on has yet to reach the climax, so alas, we must sit and pray that we never have to see anything close to the ginger permed/crimped hair. Cause that was the worst.

And I leave you with this video. Both G-dragon and Tabi's hair looks amazing. Simple does it!And he plays the trumpet! Does his talent know no ends? Whoever was responsible for this hair please re-hire them. Aaaah they're so cute!

P.s. FYI I used to be on this subbing team. Woop!

If you managed to read this far I applaud your patience. And also question the ways in which you spend your time. Just kidding!!!

Big Bang is VIP

2009-06-08T00:52:00.001+01:00

With the discovery of my other half across the lecture hall, came a realisation that new obsessions were about to be discovered and squee’d about. In true epiphanic film fashion, we ran towards each other, arms open wide and hugged and exclaimed with exclamation- BIG BANG!!!- well, not really, but that how things should have gone down!! Wait a minute...I lie....that did happen!! Eventually!! Only after I had been enlightened by the wise one, May, during an epic MSN conversation, did this occur.

May opened my eyes to a whole new world of Korean music. She said ‘Have you heard of Big Bang?’ and I said something to the effect of ‘No...’ and then May showed me my first ever Big Bang video- ‘Sunset Glow’. I strangely wasn’t that into it, but after seeing the people in the band, my mind was changed and I thought to myself... “People this good looking, definitely deserve chances.” That was what they got, and how right it was to give them that second chance. I was astounded and in love! I saw that this was the start of something new. No, we aren’t talking about High School Musical, you don’t have to leave!!! I won’t do it again!!!

Oh! I just realised that you might not know what I’m talking about! We did tell you that we would be random. Let me clarify for you quickly!

Big Bang is a group comprising of 5 extremely talented members, each with different skills, eclectic tastes and general good lookingness. They are Korea’s premier hip hop group, although their talents expand far beyond the reaches of just hip hop. Mixing vocals with rap, they produce tantalising music that you won’t want to stop listening to. Let’s meet them!

G-Dragon aka Kwon Ji-yong (권지용) - The group leader, and most flamboyantly fashioned member. He has crazy mad skills when it comes to composing music and organising the group. Some consider him to be the most fashionable, this isn’t true, he’s just the most experimental. We’ll come onto that later…

Taeyang (Sol) aka Dong Young-bae (동영배) – He’s the one with the most ‘gangsterish’ look, but we all know he’s a big softie at heart! Always being photographed with flowers and cute little doggy’s, he brings a new dynamic to the group, with flawlessly gorgeous vocals, and looks too!

T.O.P aka Choi Seung-hyun (최승현) – Our first love, T.O.P blows the world away with his delightfully sexy rapping vocals, a cute smile, and smouldering eyes. Words can’t describe our feelings towards this particular member, but the word ‘kidnap’ often comes into play. His raps are just too good.

Daesung (D-Lite ) aka Kang Dae-sung (강대성) – The joker of the group, always willing to play pranks on the other members. When he speaks he has a matured rough, but soft voice, this makes for an awesome singing voice, and the image of the joker is once again shed. The song finishes and you can see it come back. Always smiling, and we wouldn’t want it any other way!

Seungri (Victory) aka Lee Seung-hyun (이승현) – Aw, the baby of the group. Or not so baby-ish anymore. Seungri has grown into a sexy man, with a voice that also blows you away!Usually the focus of jokes and taunts by the other members, he still comes through strong. Choreography and dance skills are Seungri’s strong points. He also loves to eat broccoli, because it has healing properties!

And there we have it, no more confusion! Right?

Back to T.O.P (because he can’t be left without more mention), he is also a budding actor! Taking roles in recently made programmes, I Am Sam and Iris, T.O.P shows there is more to him than sexy rapping and a pretty face. Another thing we know, is that he likes to eat :D and we like that! He’s always looks so happy with doughnuts, apples, and pizza! We love the way he raps, and the way he sings, and the way he dances, and the way he dresses. Proving he is the perfect husband, in addition to all the others. We can always make time for him!

Look out for PART 2!! COMING SOON FROM MAYBELLE!

Hi...My Name Is...And I'm A...

2009-06-04T01:06:00.000+01:00

Let us introduce!!

May’s the name. Random’s the game. Doesn’t make sense but I presume this will be the premise of many of my part of the posts.

Me, typing incoherent nonsense, whilst your duty is to make sense of it (Geddit-sense from nonsense. If you don’t then we’re going to have difficulty in later posts). I am one half of this blogging duo (the other half being the amazing Joeystar – but I figure you got that from the title), and I’m the random one. I like to think of my notes as an organised chaos, jumping from one point to another but maintaining some structure. What structure that might be I haven’t a clue.

Yes, so I’m a psychology student and contrary to popular belief I cannot for the life of me read minds. Heck I can’t even read body language or any of that cool stuff people automatically assume psychologists do. Instead ask me anything about Tomas Chamurro-Premuzic and I guarantee thee that I will be able to tell you anything and everything about the man. It’s very reassuring to know that my £3000 in tuition fee is going so far towards my education (!). So if you were hoping I would perform some awesome mind reading analysis on people, not going to happen. I didn’t say I wouldn’t attempt to analyse people though. I plan on engaging in some serious random character break-down, be it an artist from the Korean world or the next door neighbour who keeps irritating me with their cheesy music. Nobody is safe.

I feel as though I’ve become distracted from the focus of this post. This was supposed to be about us (Joey and myself) and somewhere along the line it became a post about psychology and TCP. Organised chaos, organised chaos!

Seriously though, I’m the random side and my duty is to keep the randomness coming. I assure you this will not be difficult, I am random personified. It’s the converting it from random-speak to English that might hold me up.

There are some sounds in randomese that English just doesn’t have. I’m thinking of investing in a translator. Might speed up the process. Might. It’s not a miracle worker. But if it doesn’t make sense, read and re-read and then re-read and then go watch tv. Cause television is both the cure and the enemy.
So why did we create this blog? And why together? I shall answer both in good time. I know nobody actually asked these questions but let us pretend they did.

Why:Because we can. No I’m messing. Joey is one of my closest/best friends and when we’re together be it on msn or at university, we always have the most awesome conversations. And when I see Joey’s artwork and Photoshop creations I always point out that it’s rather selfish to keep such work to herself. So I’m hoping that Joey will bless us with her ingenuity and skill in terms (though not limited to) of art. Believe me thou shalt be impressed. And I need a healthy outlet for my random thoughts. I’ve been warned projecting it onto unsuspecting bystanders isn’t the healthiest way. This blog should soon fix that.

Why together:We were originally going to create two separate accounts but then Joeystar discovered that you can have more than one author per blog. And that concludes that explanation. She provides the creativity and I, the randomness, like lock and key I tell you. Like lock and key.Joey and me together is the best thing since sliced bread. I wonder what was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?Meh.

Again. Distracted. I think I shall round off here. So I’m Maybelle/May the random one and Joey/Joeystar is the awesomely creative one.

Joeystar was responsible for the creation of this blog and I’m sure like me, you’ll be inspired and in awe of her creativity. I promise myself that I shall harness her creativity and use it for evil I mean good. Yes. Good. Cause, I’m not like evil or anything like that. No.Not at all.

And on that note, I bid thee adieu. I rather I left no more incriminating evidence.

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Imjoey. Thats all.

I joke, I kid. I’m here to be the art side, with feeble attempts to creatively write too. That’s the aim of this game.

Joeystar aka ME, forms the art part of this creatively random duo. I’m the one who might’ve picked the wrong degree, but nevertheless, if I didn’t I wouldn’t have met May and that would have been a major catastrophe. She fuels me. I wouldn’t be funny without her!

So my job here is to do the creative bit of the randomness. May has got the randomness down, I hope I can pull up the creative! Armed with Photoshop and a blank screen, I hope to meet the requirements.
Get ready for all our kooky adventures, of which there will be LOTS of!!

And so you have it, the first post from the dynamic duo, the femme hubby's, the peas in the pod. Prepare for the most creative ramblings you've seen!